Durian lovers - Terrible news.

DO NOT entertain or approach any durian seller whom you do not know at all,

especially pasar malam, an event which they move from one place to another ....

Personally, I had a similar experience at Raju's in Petaling Jaya sometime early this year, 2010.

As we had finished our roti canai at Raju's, a "decent" looking youth came up to me with a

durian with a "window" opened to show a nice and tempting durian flesh inside. Yummy, so I

thought.

He led me to this van half-filled with durians and promptly told his burly buddy that this boss

(that's me) wanted to buy. This fellow just picked a huge durian and proceeded to open it.

Then in quick succession, he had already opened 3 fruits.

I frantically stopped him and said that I actually wanted one only.

The usual concluding statement from him was, "What am I going to do withthese 3

opened durians ?"

I asked how much?

He answered, "RM280.00"!!

I uttered, "That's robbery."

Sensing that I had just been conned and cornered, I said sternly that I am only willing to pay

RM120.00 max for the durians.

To cut the long story short, I settled for RM200.00

__________________________________________________________

Dear all,

My daughter just related this true incident that happened to her friend's mother.

She was eating breakfast at a makan stall in a wet market. A man approached her and

asked if she would like to buy some fresh durians.

Being a durian lover, she said yes. The man then asked her to follow him to his stall nearby.

At his stall, there were lots of durians. The man opened some fruits to show her the freshness

of the durian. She was quite taken aback that he opened quite a few, so she said only wanted

5 durians.

Suddenly, the man asked, "What am I going to do with the opened durians?!"

He insisted that she buy all the opened fruits. At this point, two big men with tattoos

appeared at the stall.

The frightened woman decided not to buy and quickly walked to her car.

But just as she opened the car door, the 'durian seller' came up behind her and

slammed her door shut!

He waved the parang he had used to open the durians and demanded RM400 for

the 5 durians she had wanted to buy.

The lady tried to protest about the price, but the man shouted at her, waving the

parang threateningly close to her head. So, after some 'bargaining' (pleading),

the three men settled on a price of RM 300 for five durians!

This incident happened in Cheras, but a robbery scam can be set up anywhere.

Beware, because they pretend to be legit traders, and durian sellers do carry parangs

in broad daylight, so they have an alibi. If the cops show up, they'd just deny everything.

Times are hard now, and criminals are cooking up creative ways to rob the more vulnerable

ones in surprising ways.

SO, PLEASE BE AWARE OF THIS NEW SCAM. PASS THIS EMAIL AROUND AND WARN

YOUR FRIENDS, ESPECIALLY DURIAN LOVERS. THE MAIN TARGET ARE AUNTIE AND UNCLE.

Mad Jokes

You may think that all mental hospital patients are stupid & crazy
..... read this..

Incidents in Institute of Mental Health Hospital (IMH)

Record I

Patient A: "So how... this book not bad yah?"
Patient B: "Yah agree, excellent! Astounding work. No nonsense, sharp and
concise to the point.
But there's a major flaw in this piece of art – too many character names
to remember!!!"
Nurse: "Hey! Can the two of you put the telephone book back to the
original place?"

Record II

A doctor asked a patient: "If I were to cut one of your ears off, what
will happen to you?"
Patient: "Then I will not be able to hear..."
Doctor: "Hmm…that's normal...so if I were to cut your other ear off, what
will happen then?"
Patient: "I will not be able to see..."
The doctor became nervous and asked: "Why would you not see then???"
Patient: "Because my spectacles will fall off..."

Record III

IMH has an old lady who wears black, carries a black umbrella and squats
at the entrance to the
IMH everyday without fail, rain or shine.
The doctor wanted to administer treatment for her but decided to
understand her behavior first.
So, the doctor also wears black and carries a black umbrella; squatted
besides her everyday.
The days go by.....the two of them squatted side-by-side w/o a single
exchange of word.
After one solid month, the old lady finally broke the silence and asked
the doctor:
"Err...Excuse me! Are you also a mushroom?"

Record IV

A nurse saw a patient writing a letter. She got curious and went to take
a peek.
But the patient didn't wanna let her see.
Nurse (unable to contain her curiosity): "Who are you writing to?"
Patient: "I'm writing a letter to myself..."
Her curiosity grew and she thought to herself (Why would someone write a
letter to himself?)
So she asked again: "So...what's written inside?"
Patient (got impatient): "You crazy ah? I haven't received the letter,
how would I know??"

Record V

Two patients escape from the IMH. They climbed up a tree and one of them
fell from the tree
and started rolling on the ground.
After a while, the patient below shouted to the one on top:
"Hey! How come you are not coming down yet?"
The patient on top replied:
"No. no...I can't...I'm not ripe yet"

Record VI

One patient visited the doctor: "Doc...How? I think I'm a chicken since
the day I was born..."
Doctor: "Wah! That’s very serious...Why do you only come and seek
treatment now?"
Patient: "Because my family needs me to hatch the eggs..."

Record VII

One truck driver was doing his usual delivery to IMH.
He discovered a flat tyre when he was about to go home. He jacked up the
truck and took the
flat tyre down. When he was about to fix the spare tyre, he
accidentally dropped all the bolts into the drain. As he can't fish the
bolts out, he started to panic.
One patient happened to walk past and asked the driver what happened.
The driver thought to himself, since there's nothing much he can do; he
told the patient the
whole incident.
The patient laughed at him & said "can't even fix such a simple
problem...no wonder you are
destined to be a truck driver..."
"Here’s what you can do, take one bolt each from the other 3 tyres and
fix it onto this tyre.
Then drive to the nearest workshop and replace the missing ones, easy as
that"
The driver was very impressed and asked
"You're so smart but why are you here at the IMH?"
Patient replied: "Hello, I stay here because I'm crazy not STUPID!"